I hold down a full-time job, I look after my family and I enjoy my hobbies and interests. This is a major turnaround for me. Previously, I’d convinced myself that there were no such things as hobbies and interests when affected by Biploar. I failed to see the point in jigsaws or playing solitaire with cards, for example.
The reason being, I didn’t see the value in these. I could never become the world’s best at any of these pastimes. So I couldn’t see the point. The time spent participating in these trivial pursuits was time wasted. It could be better spent on becoming a world champion triathlete or classical musician (yes, that happened). This was a major source of stress and eventually depression when I realised that it was not a possibility.
I can appreciate now that therapeutic pastimes are essential to wellness. I do still catch myself halfway through a large LEGO project with the kids and remind myself why I started and how I can continue if I please. I’m not doing it to prove I’m the best, I’m doing it for them and myself. It’s therapeutic, like a lot of pastimes, and I need to remember that. My brain and body need downtime and it’s essential that I spend as much time as possible with my kids.